Beautiful Disaster

Well over the next 12 or so hours, tropical depression Bonnie is suppose to roll over the Florida Keys. Why do I care that it's rolling over the keys? Well mainly because, that's where I am right now. Is it a big deal, no. I've been through storms much worse than what I'll see the next few hours. However, it's sad to watch mother nature tear something a part. Something someone took time to make, or build is destroyed in a matter of minutes. But at the same time, it's beautiful to watch something fight to stay together. At times it may look like it won't make it, but it does. It comes out of the storm beaten up, but it made it. It can be made new again because it weathered the storm...

Blood, Sweat,....

Well Sunday I ended up being tempted to hit the water, by myself. I've done it many times and never really had any thought about getting hurt or anything of the sort. Well five minutes into my run down the lake on the sea-doo, I took a huge wave throwing me into the steering controls upon the so called landing. Luckily I didn't slam my face in to the controls, instead I hit around my collar bone area. After riding the sea-doo sideways for a few seconds, I righted the XP and kept going. Then a few minutes later after rubbing upper chest and neck area, my hand felt like it was covered with a warm substance...yep, blood! Looking in my mirrors, I could see the cut and blood running down my chest. So I stopped and jumped in the water to wash it off. Well after about 20 minutes the bleeding stopped and I continued on for the rest of the day, however being a little timid for a good little while.

Any ways, being alone on Sunday and empty house this week, has led me to do a lot of thinking. For me that's usually not a good thing. So have you ever wanted something and then when that moment came, the excitement wasn't there? That's something I'm going through right now and I don't know why? You would think something that has been in the making for over two years would excite you. But right now I'm not.

Catching my breath....I think.

No post in a while due to finishing up the semester. So now it's summer time, or close to it at least and it's my favorite time of year no doubt. So now that school is out of the way until fall what's on tap? First off, work but that's a given. So what's the fun stuff? Well Friday heading to a concert with some friends, which should be fun. Of course many trips to the lake which is a summer staple for me. Also I've planned trip to Jacksonville, in which we will also hit up Orlando and hopefully be able to get over to St. Pete to catch a Rays game. A friend and myself are tying to get a trip planned to St. Louis to visit some friends and yes, catch a Cards game, but we have a little inside connection there and would be the reason to go. And lastly, a trip to Chicago for a trade show in July for a week. Really looking forward to getting up to Chicago and seeing what it has to offer. Oh yeah, catching a Cubs/Phils game while in town. So that's really what's on tap for the summer so not looking like I'm catching my breath, but that's okay.

Beat...

After a weekend, I think you're supposed to feel refreshed and ready for the week. But I'll tell you, right now I wish I had a few more days before beginning this week. This is the last week before dead week at school which means a few test and working on my final paper for IBA which I've been doing all afternoon. To be honest, I'm ready to get this week out of the way and heading in to it feeling beat is not the way I wanted to start it. Hopefully it ends up being better than expected.

Decisions

Many of you may not know but I'm finishing up school at Alabama. I must say, I've enjoyed my time on campus thus far. I had some thoughts about maybe leaving to cut out the driving between Birmingham and Tuscaloosa. However, I've felt at home being on campus at Alabama. It might be because I've spent the first few years of my life here and it's always kinda been home in a sense. I've got a little more time here and then it will be time for a new chapter. The funny part is, the people I'm surrounded by right now could not be more perfect. And it's a little scary knowing I what will be next and where it takes me. Sure, I've got some places only target list but nothing is 100%. All I can say is, what a ride it's been and damn, I can't wait to see what the future holds.

Trying...

Over the past few days I've been trying to write a new post but every time I read it back to myself it sounds.... well depressing. The people in my last two blogs were extremely important to me but at the same time the writing's can come off depressing, but I'm not depressed. I guess it just has to do with everything that's been going on the past few weeks. Although it's been rough, there have been some very good parts lately as well. I'll get a good one out...

My Nanny

In some ways, this is the easiest post I've written, but it is no doubt the hardest I've ever written. On Wednesday March 24th around 2am, my Nanny passed away. She had been sick and in the nursing home for a little over four years. She had been battling dementia during those years. It might have taken her mind, but it never took her spirit. As always, she was a fighter to the end.

But I won't remember her for just these last four years or so. I'll remember all the times that she stayed with us growing up. I'll remember the trips to visit her. I'll remember breaking away during the day to go have lunch with her. I'll remember sitting with her and watching our favorite past time, baseball. I'll remember family Christmases. I'll remember her loving us no matter how we acted and goofed off while with our cousins.

I'm not really sure there are enough kind words to say about my Nanny. I know I miss her so much and will never forget her. I will always remember the love and kindness she showed to others. She had and will continue to have a lasting impact on my life. She was truly a remarkable lady, but most of all she was my Nanny.

I'll Never Forget You

Today is one of those days in my life that I'll never forget. Not today to be exact but March 21 instead. Today marks 5 years since my cousin who was 2 years younger than me passed away. I remember that day just like it was yesterday. Shortly after 7am getting the phone from my Grandmother. Then my mom came and met me and we drove to my dad's office where we pulled him outside to tell him. After that I had to call my brother as well. It's one of those days and weeks that I never want to relive. But, this is life and you'll have those moments.

Matt and I were always close growing up. He was my only male cousin so I think that's one of the reasons we were so close. As we got older, no matter how long it was between when we talked, we always seemed to pick up where we left off. I still think about him all the time and miss him everyday. I loved that kid.

It was kinda ironic that we talked about over coming difficulties in Sunday school this am. Anything is possible with God. Prayer must be a staple in life as well as action to go along with those prayers. You just can't pray and do nothing expecting to over come difficulties in life. Fellowship and study must also be included as well.

It was a difficult time in my life dealing with his death as I am sure it was for the rest of the family. I miss Matt everyday and I am very thankful for the time I had with him and know I will see him again someday.

"I Believe In Me"

The title to this post is from my favorite quote from Steve McQueen. Also, just to let you know, I am a huge Steve McQueen fan but in no way do I hold him up as a role model. The quote is:

"I believe in me. I'm a little screwed up but I'm beautiful." - Steve McQueen

When reading this, if you have questions about this post, just ask me. Now, on to the quote. I ran across this quote a few months ago. When I read it, I pretty much adopted it as my life motto. I think about this quote on a weekly basis. The reason I like this quote so much because I know that I am not perfect and will not be perfect. That reason might be why I do not believe in role models. I know I have imperfections, but at the end of the day as long as I please God first, I am good with that. I know that I can not please everyone in life. No matter what I do, I know someone will always question me about my actions or reasoning for doing something. If I tried to please everyone, I would end up getting pulled in so many directions that I would not know who I am. End the end, I believe in me and I'm beautiful in God's eyes.